Dr. Phelan gives concise, clear ideas about how parents should interact with their adolescents. Parenting books often fall into the trap of a "one size fits all" approach to parenting. Dr. Phelan acknowledges that adolescents often have different temperaments and may require varying types of parenting approaches.

Communication between parent and adolescent is a tricky thing. It is easy to stymie the flow of information. He lists several "dos" and "don't" that may help keep the lines of comunication open. He illustrates each of these points with real-life vignettes. He discusses general guidelines for when it is better for the parent to intervene; when to just let go; and when to seek professional consultation.

I am glad that this title is available in audiocassette form. Parents today are often busy with work, home duties and carpooling. A casette, or anything that is practical and saves time, is great.

I am a clinical social worker and recommend this book to clients struggling with their teenagers all the time, and all who have read it tell me how helpful it is. The advice is clear and practical, especially in deciding when to be flexible and when to be firm. I also like the emphasis on maintaining a good relationship with your kids so you will have a good relationship with them when they are adults. Highly recommended.

This book helped me realize that my teenager wasn't as "awful" as I thought and showed me what role I need to take to make this relationship with my teen enjoyable. Great guidelines of acceptable/unacceptable behavior for teens to help us 1st time teen parents. Also wonderful discipline ideas that are sensible!

The book is divided into three main parts and goes into detail on why self-esteem is important. I felt this was information I already knew. However, the most helpful part of the book was the last section where it discussed how to manage your childs self-esteem.

This book makes some very accurate and useful observations, chief among them:

Self-esteem comes from tangible experiences, not just touchy-feely, feel-good platitudes mouthed by adults -- children see through those.

Each child has a "Great Evaluator" (internal critic) that is always monitoring the child's performance and pushing for improvement. This is necessary for the child to develop, but sometimes this internal critic can be misled and a child can become too self-critical.

Life is not always supposed to be too comfortable for kids -- some discomfort is necessary for growth. Likewise, a parent's job is not always to make a kid feel good.

The author then goes on to elaborate on each of these and his other observations, giving specific advice to parents on how help the child accurately see themselves and build real, not phony, self-esteem.

Dr. Phelan uses real life examples to illustrate his didactic narrative. He explains concepts clearly and cuts quickly to the heart of important issues. I particularly enjoyed his discussion of the process getting an evaluation for AD/HD. He advocates a thorough, systematic approach to diagnosis. He explains how to make sure that the professionals have covered all of the bases.

He discusses how AD/HD can affect both adults and children. However, he tends to put more emphasis or child and adolescent issues.

Dr. Phelan does not pull punches or sugar-coat the issues. He makes it clear that AD/HD can make life challenging for individual and family. This directness is both the strength and weakness of this tape (and book.) The first couple of chapters tend to emphasize the difficulties. You have to wait a while before you get to the parts that give you some hope. The first couple of chapters might have you thinking about trading your child in for a non-defective model. But stick it out--by the end of the book you will have a clearer idea of the steps you can take to resolve difficulties.

I am pleased that this book is available in an audiocassette version. Many families affected by AD/HD are already spread too thin. They may not have the time or the attention span to sit down and read an entire book. This particular audiocassette was produced in a professional manner. Dr. Phelan reads didactic material and actors dramatize family anecdotes. This breaks up any monotony and makes for an enjoyable listening experience.

Now in a newly updated edition, Thomas Phelan's All About Attention Deficit Disorder continues to be one of the most "reader friendly" introductions and explanations for parents, teachers and care-givers of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Phelan covers symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment for ADD children and adults. Highly recommended for personal, professional, school and community library collections, All About Attention Deficit Disorder will provide information, tools, and emotional support needed by anyone dealing with a loved one, student, or patient with this difficult, biologically based, psychologically impacting disorder.

i think it is a very helpful book forme but i want to know how can i order this book

123 Magic is a one size fits all, quick fix approach that does NOT address the root cause of why children misbehave. It may bring fast results as long as strong temperament is not an issue, or if the ONLY problem is that the parent has been too lenient and pleasing in the past.
There is no help for parents trying to prioritise which behaviours to focus on when a child is truly out of control. Without a clear strategy to initiate change, a partent can easily be overwhelmed by a childs strong and fiercly oppositional reaction to even minor changes. For this I would highly recommend the book "Ain't Misbehavin" by William P Garvey or "Setting Limits: How to Raise Rresponsible Independent Children by Providing CLEAR Boundaries" by Robert J MacKenzie.
For an in-depth book that explores both the parent and childs role in power struggles, I would recommend "The Manipulative Child: How to Regain Control and Raise Resilient, Rresourceful, and Independent Kids" by Swihart and Cotter.

I agree with the books suggestion of no emotion or anger during discipline on the part of the parent. But even this is contradicted by the author who suggests that a smack on the butt for a child fighting a time out as being acceptable.
Also I found the books tone sort of negative and demeaning towards children at times, making comparisons to "wild animals" that need training.
There is some good advice on interrupting behaviors but overall too punitive for my liking.

I HIGHLY recommend this book to any parent that is spending more time yelling and/or nagging their child than smiling at and laughing with them. This is an awesome, effective method of discipline! The premise is simple and the results are great. When the 123 method is used consistently (slips can happen), our household is a lot happier. We can concentrate on enjoying our children, rather than yelling at them. My children do have a choice with 123. Either they can behave, or they can be sent to their room. Why is this considered punishment? Well, if they wanted to be in their room they would already be there! My boys are 5 and 2. My 2 year old has a tendency to throw himself on the floor and screech. We have just started using the 123 method with him. We can count to 1 and he will kind of stop (or slow down). He hears us! Sometimes he won't stop, so he gets put in his room for 2 minutes (1 minute for each year of the child). This gives him (and us) a chance to calm down. Since my children's behavior is getting under control we as a family now have the energy to voluntarily spend quality time together, rather than eagerly awaiting being away from them. The book also describes the importance of PVF (positive verbal feedback). A child should have at least 5 positive things said to him/her each day. When a child is out of control and a home is chaotic as a result, it is difficult to remember to praise your child (at least for me). Disciplining your child, without hitting or yelling, while still retaining control, is what this book is all about. I'm glad I have my own copy as I will read it again and again.

I enjoy reading parenting books. I've lost count of how many I have read over the years; but this book is the one book I tell people "if you can only read one parenting book, read this one." Yes, the methods are simple; but they are effective. They help you to set clear rules and boundaries which a two year old can understand and a twelve year old can respect. There is no ambiguity about what is expected and what the consequeces will be.

This book isn't just about timeouts and discipline; it encompasses an entire parenting philosophy. It points out the importance of children behaving in an appropriate manner and the importance of children starting desirable behaviors along with children taking responsibility for their own actions and inactions. It gives concrete advise and examples in an easy to read and informative format.

I try to re-read this book once every six months. If you believe in a gentle way of raising children. If you'd like your house to stop being a battlefield. If you would like to raise independent, well-mannered, self-sufficent children, then this books is for you.